Thoughtful Discernment Counseling in Columbia, MD

When one or both partners are seriously considering separation, it can feel like you’re standing at a painful crossroads—unsure which direction leads to healing, or whether you’ll be walking it together. As a trained discernment counselor and experienced couples therapist, I work with couples in this exact situation—those who aren’t quite ready for traditional couples therapy but also don’t want to make a major decision without a clearer perspective.

Clarity Without Pressure. Support for When Your Relationship Feels Uncertain.

Discernment Therapy for When You’re Both Stuck and Unsure

When one or both partners are leaning out of the relationship, even basic conversations can feel tense, stuck, or emotionally distant. Discernment therapy gives couples a short-term way to slow down, reflect on the status of their relationship, and think about what’s next. As a trained professional specializing in helping couples on the brink, I guide both partners through a thoughtful process designed to uncover a deeper understanding of what’s happened in the relationship. I help partners better understand what brought them to this point and what each person truly wants moving forward.

What Discernment Counseling Can Help You With:

  • Exploring the possibility of change without pressure or conflict

  • Meeting both individually and together to make room for honesty, reflection, and curiosity about your relationship

  • Developing a deeper understanding of your relationship problems without blame

  • Gaining clarity and confidence about whether to commit or separate

  • Taking time to think, reflect, and process separately, with individual support

  • Identifying next steps that feel grounded and intentional, not rushed or reactionary

  • Understanding each partner’s contribution to the relationship’s current struggles

  • Working with a professional who understands high-conflict, high-uncertainty situations

When a couple is on the brink of separation or divorce, it can be hard to even have a productive conversation, let alone make a decision. That’s where I come in. As a trained discernment counselor, I help couples step out of the conflict and disconnection to gain a clearer look at what’s happening in their relationship. This isn’t traditional couples therapy - it’s a short-term, structured process designed specifically for couples considering ending their relationship. 

What Is Discernment Counseling? Find Your Next Step When Everything Feels Uncertain

Experience a Thoughtful Approach to Discernment Counseling

we’re here to help with:

+ One or both partners are “leaning out” of the relationship

+ You’re considering separation or divorce, but are not completely sure

+ You want to better understand what’s happened to your relationship

+ You need space to explore each person's contributions to the problems

+ You’re feeling ambivalent about whether to pursue relationship counseling

+ You want to explore the possibility of restoring the relationship to health

If You're Feeling Torn and Want To…

01

Get unstuck from the painful back-and-forth of “should I stay or should I go?”

02

Understand how each partner contributed to where things are now without blame

03

Explore your options thoughtfully, with support instead of pressure

04

Make a decision about your relationship with confidence and compassion

…then discernment counseling can help you take the next right step.

Because I Want You to Know:

You don’t have to rush into a decision or stay stuck in the same painful place. Discernment counseling is here to give you and your partner the space to reflect and talk honestly, without pressure, blame, or pretending everything is fine. 

  • A discernment counselor works with couples on the brink of separation or divorce. Rather than jumping into traditional couples therapy, I help both partners take a closer look at what’s happened to their relationship, the problems and possible solutions, and whether there’s a possibility of change. This process is designed to help each client make a more informed decision about how to move forward.

  • Discernment counseling is a specialized form of short-term work, focused on clarity. It’s not about resolving every issue in the relationship, but about gaining a deeper understanding of the relationship problems and each person's contribution to them. This approach is specifically for couples where one or both partners are unsure about continuing. 

  • Each session includes time with the couple together, as well as individual conversations with each partner. As your discernment counselor, I’ll help you explore what’s happened to the relationship, uncover patterns, and consider your options. The focus is on supporting each person separately as they reflect on their values, their contributions to the problems, and whether they want to commit to working on the relationship or move towards separation or divorce. It’s a respectful, honest process—not stressful or reactionary.

  • At the end of discernment counseling, each couple considers one of three paths:

    1. Stay the same – No immediate action is taken.

    2. Move towards separation or divorce – Begin the process of ending the relationship.

    3. Commit to intensive couples therapy, with separation or divorce off the table during that time.

    The goal isn’t to force a decision, but to help both partners decide with more clarity and confidence, based on an honest look at the relationship.

  • Discernment counseling helps you understand your relationship problems, but it isn’t meant to solve them during the session itself. Instead, it helps you explore whether working on the relationship is something you’re both willing to commit to. If you both decide to try to restore the relationship, a plan for dedicated couples therapy is created. That’s where the deeper repair work begins.

frequently asked questions

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

Facing the uncertainty of separation or staying together is one of the hardest decisions a couple can make, but you don’t have to face it without support. Discernment counseling offers a calm, structured, and respectful space to explore your relationship with honesty and care. If you’re feeling stuck, unsure, or emotionally overwhelmed, I’m here to help you find insight and direction. Whether your next step is healing together or parting with compassion, you deserve the time and guidance to make that choice with confidence.